Grandpa was admitted to the hospital two nights ago, and he’s not doing well. An aggravated infection and an infarction, and as always, there’s no way to know which way the scales will tip. I’m going to Raahe tomorrow to spend a couple of days there, keeping grandma company and visiting grandpa.

It’s been about eight years since I last lost someone I loved. I have no idea how I would react to death now, and I’m not particularly eager to find out. I hold out hope for grandpa to get better, but then again, the inescapable truth is that he’s not getting any younger. If it’s not this one, maybe it’ll be the one after that or the one after that. And I won’t be ready, because you never really can be.

One of my best friends took a plane to Berlin yesterday, and plans to stay for at least a year, or maybe for good. I’m really happy for her, because this is what she wanted for so long, and now it’s happened. Of course, at the same time I’m really sad for myself, because I love spending time with her, and now there’s no knowing when the next time will be. Another really good friend will be taking off later this month, to join her busband in Bangalore. Again, the mix of happiness and sadness, and just this feeling of all-encompassing loss. It’s not fair, really, since it’s not like I’m losing them. It just feels like it, that’s all.

Okay, this is going to the wrong direction a bit too fast. Let’s try something from the other end of the spectrum:

Yesterday I took part in a translation competition a friend tipped me of. I translated a short story by the Finnish author Maritta Lintunen from Finnish to English, and boy, it was hard. I haven’t translated much prose before, and it really shows. Still, I did my best, and I finished it even though there was a point where I seriously considered just giving up. I’ve no idea how well or poorly I did, but for me the important thing is that I finished it and did my best. I guess I’ll find out how I measured up sometime in November when they publish the results of the competition.

Today I have a lunch date with another really good friend of mine, which hopefully will lift my spirits somewhat. We’ll have lovely Indian food and a good conversation, and I’ll feel better. Besides, it’s autumn, and it’s beautiful outside. The world keeps turning, and everything is just around the corner.