English, MindswirlJune 19, 2009 12:39 pm

Disclaimer: My space, my thoughts. I will rant here, because this is stuff that’s bothering me and needs to be let out, but if spoken aloud would hurt people’s feelings for no good reason. So, here it is, where the people who might be affected will never read it.

We’re in Raahe, taking care of my ill grandma and balance-challenged grandpa (the parents are in Birmingham for a week). My grandparents are sweet and I love them, but this is not how I was going to spend the extended weekend, and it affects me even when I try not to let it. Grandma has the habit of bossing people around, and since I just have to suck it up and take it even when it grates me, this is where I bitch. I know it’s immature of me, but I can’t help reacting this way. The only thing I can do about it is not to show it.

There’s just something about being at someone’s beck and call all the time, which I find both difficult and annoying. This coupled with the fact that I’m constantly worried about grandma, trying to monitor whether the situation worsens and she should be taken to the hospital, just makes me irate. I know she already feels guilty for us being here, because she hates to be a burden, so I keep holding onto a happy face around her to make her feel better. And it’s not all bad, since I do enjoy spending time with them and listening to their stories. It’s just the annoying feeling of the whole thing being compulsory that gets on my nerves. I deal really badly with being forced to do something, even when I’ve actually volunteered to do it and can completely understand it has to be done. I think it’s something that should get better with age, but in my case it just seems to get worse. The only improvement is that I mostly manage to keep my annoyment to myself. Usually, anyway.

This character flaw is one major reason for me to think I should never have children of my own.

Okay, it’s off my chest now. I’ll give myself a few more minutes before I go make coffee for grandpa and onion milk (don’t ask) for grandma…

Suomeksi, As isJune 4, 2009 10:57 am

Tilasimme kihlasormuksemme ja mun vihkisormuksen korupaja Kultaisesta Kuusta, jonka Petri Tuovinen suunnitteli ne meille omien ideoidemme pohjalta. Kaiken kaikkiaan suunnitteluprosessi sujui mukavassa hengessä ja vauhdikkaasti sähköpostin ja tekstiviestien välityksellä, ja lopputuloksen voi nähdä täällä. Leken sormus on keltakultainen taotulla pinnalla, kun taas mun kihlasormus on rodinoimatonta valkokultaa samanlaisella takopinnalla, mutta siinä on lisäksi kohokoristeita ja sen toinen ulkosyrjä on muodoltaan aaltoileva ja siinä on lovi vihkisormuksen kiveä varten. Vihkisormus puolestaan on sekin rodinoimatonta valkokultaa, mutta sileällä pinnalla ja sen koristeena on luonnonvärinen musta timantti. Kokonaisuus on mielestäni pitkälti itseni näköinen, ja olen siihen todella tyytyväinen.

Häitä suunnitellaan pikku hiljaa, mutta koska tässä on yhdet toiset hääjuhlat tulossa lähiaikoina, joissa toimin toisena kaasona, ei hirveästi ole vielä edistytty omissa suunnitelmissa. Eipä tässä ole onneksi vielä kiirettä.

English, As is 9:54 am

One of the blogs I follow, called Jatulintarha by Jenny Kangasvuo was deleted by Blogsome a few days ago without any warning. She reported the problem via the Blogsome forum, and the answer she got was not very reassuring:

The blog was intentionally deleted by an administrator yesterday. It seems that a complaint was received about it, but I don’t have any details of the complaint.

According to Blogsome’s terms of service, they have the right to terminate the service they offer at any time, without any explanation:

Browse The World Ltd. shall also have the right without notice and at any time to terminate the blogsome.com web site or any portion thereof, or any products or services offered through the blogsome.com web site, or to terminate any individual’s right to access or use the blogsome.com web site or any portion thereof.

You agree that any termination of your access to the sevices so provided under any provision of these Terms of Service may be effected without prior notice, and acknowledge and agree that Browse The World / blogsome.com may immediately deactivate or delete your blogsome.com site/blog and all related information and files in your blogsome.com site/blog and/or bar any further access to such files or the blgosome service. Further, you agree that Browse The World shall not be liable to you or any third-party for any termination of your access to the service.

The blog was back online today when I checked it, but according to Jenny, there has been no explanation as to the nature of the complaint received or for anything else, for that matter. Sure, we all agreed to the terms of service when we first put up our blogs, but I still think that it’s going a bit far to just delete a blog after receiving one complaint and never even contacting the blog owner first. Hell, the least they could do is to tell Jenny what the complaint was about.

Of course, the reason may very well be related to the nature of the blog, here described by Jaakko Meriläinen:

The blog in question was written in Finnish by a well-known Finnish feminist researcher and sexual minority rights activist and it contained, in addition to personal reflection, texts about Finnish academia and her research on pornography and sexual minority issues, with the tag “porno” being used.

I for one am feeling quite apprehensive about continuing to use Blogsome as the host for my blogs. Annoyingly enough, it is the best free blog service I’ve come across so far, at least from a technical standpoint. So, what to do? Any suggestions for better free hosts?

Edit later:

The admins at the Blogsome forum clarified the issue, and I for one am satisfied with the result:

I apologise for the error made. Just a little bit of background - we get literally 100’s of pornographic blogs set up (and 100’s that are in flagrant breach of copyright). It is not an easy task picking out valid ones from bad ones. If this is an error it is the first, following the deletion of 1000’s of pretty awful blogs. The task is made more difficult as we don’t particularly like looking at the porno blogs in detail to investigate.

In relation to this case, it wasn’t a random deletion. The error arose from a blog post entitled:
“Give me crack and anal sex”
http://jatulintarha.blogsome.com/2007/10/03/give-me-crack-and-anal-sex/
The reviewer assumed that this was a pornographic blog in error and deleted.

I think that’s a fairly reasonable mistake to make, especially if one doesn’t speak Finnish and thus is not able to read the full entry. Now that the admin actually apologised and fixed the mistake, I think it’s not necessary for me to look for another host for my blogs. I find it reassuring to see that things can be resolved quickly and openly with Blogsome admins.

Suomeksi, Moving picturesJune 2, 2009 11:41 am

Mass Effect 2:n uusi traileri näyttää todella hyvältä! En malta odottaa ensi vuoden alkuun… ;)


Lisäksi Star Wars: The Old Republicin E3-traileri on todella vaikuttava, vaikkei siinä varsinaista gameplay-matskua olekaan:



Ja lopuksi muistutuksena itselleni: rakas XBOXimme lähti tänään kohti Saksaa ja korjausta. Ilmoittivat, että korjausaika on 2-3 viikkoa, joten katsotaan. Lohdukseni käskivät jättää kovalevyn kotiin, joten mun pelisavet ovat ainakin toivottavasti turvassa olohuoneessa.

Suomeksi, MindswirlJune 1, 2009 3:00 pm

Huh sentään. Tämä päivä alkoi vähän turhankin ankaralla nuotilla, mutta jospa tämä tästä. Viime aikoina tapahtunutta:

- pikavisiitti Tampereelle äidin ja isän kyydillä huonossa kunnossa olevaa Elvi-mummua katsomaan. Tavattiin Elviä, Maikkia, Henriä ja Nenneä, Sippolan väkeä ja vielä Isomäkiä ja Salmisiakin. Reissu meni kaiken kaikkiaan tosi hyvin, joskin mummun hauraus surettaa. Silti, hän selvästi piristyi näkemisestämme ja on sittemmin päässyt käymään myös kotonaan, jossa pää kuulemma selkeni huomattavasti.

- posliininmaalausurakka Raahessa. Maalasimme äidin kanssa yhteensä 199 kynttilänjalkaa (isä rikkoi yhden) reilun kahden päivän aikana, ja viimeisimpien tietojen mukaan tähän mennessä poltosta tulleet ovat onnistuneet. Urakka oli aika raskas ja välillä hermoja kiristävä, mutta tulipahan tehtyä.

- kihlajaisten juhlistusta Liljellä ja Samulilla. Tosi kiva ilta.

- Annan lakkiaiset. Mukavat juhlat nekin.

- suhteellisen runsaasti liikkumista sekä yksin (kuntosali) että Even kanssa (kävelyä).

- XBOX 360 -konsolin hajoaminen, system error E74. Tänään olen paininut käsittämättömän paskasti järjestetyn asiakaspalvelun kanssa ja polttanut päreeni pahasti. Aika näyttää miten homma etenee.

- kotisivujen toimimattomuus DNA:n “muutosten” vuoksi. (Sen vuoksi mm. SW:n graffat ei toimi, ne kun sijaitsevat mun kotihakemistossa…) Tällaisista muutoksista voisi oikeasti kertoa asiakkaalle etukäteen, mutta näköjään DNA:sta on kivempi korjata paskaa tuulettimesta oikein urakalla jälkikäteen. Ihan miten vaan, mutta maksavaa asiakasta alkaa pikkuhiljaa riepomaan kun hommat ei etene.

- tiedostettua huonompi rahatilanne, joka johtanee siihen, että nyt leikataan niistä vähistäkin menoista mihin tähän asti on ollut varaa. Ei ole omiaan nostamaan mielialaa, mutta näin se nyt vain menee.

Tänään on luvassa vielä omat kihlajaisten juhlistamiset ravintola Matalassa, mutta sen jälkeen hanat menee kiinni.

English, Moving picturesMay 20, 2009 9:04 pm

Go See It.

One of the most haunting and impressive scenes in film history:


English, Mindswirl, As isApril 27, 2009 5:49 pm

This rain feels like the beginning of summer. Like it can wipe away all the lingering remains of winter and bring in the new and the fresh. I’m really looking forward to the rest of the snow melting away.

Grandma Elvi has once again been hospitalised. She suffers from an infection, but this time she’s also experiencing hallucinations and a lot of what she says makes very little sense. She seems to recognise people, but it’s like she has stepped out of reality to somewhere else. We don’t know if she’s coming back.

We have ordered our engagement rings and my wedding ring. I don’t know exactly how long it will take to make them, but we’ll get them sooner or later. We’ve also pretty much decided on the wedding date, but since the place is still to be decided, I think I will hold on to the secret for a while yet. At any rate, it’s not this year, so it’s not like there’s any rush.

I forgot my Ankh pendant in Raahe the last time we visited. I’ve found myself missing it quite a few times. Huh.

English, Mindswirl, Moving picturesApril 7, 2009 4:10 pm

I meant to write this particular entry for my birthday, but hey, lately my plans really haven’t worked out the way I thought they would, so why would this be any different? The inspiration came from two entries written by Siren in her Finnish blog, Sudet tulevat. She listed her fictional male and female crushes, and got me thinking about mine. ‘Cause I sure have a few…

So, this is how it works. The ladies and gents are in no particular order, because I couldn’t possibly come up with an order of preference. Any one of them I would bed in a heartbeat, and soon I will tell you why. Most of them I would never give the time of day in real life, but this is fiction, not real life. Also, only characters from movies and TV-series are included, because otherwise there would never be an end to this entry.

First I give you an image of the character (click to enlarge) and their name, and the movie/series s/he is from will be within parentheses. A word of warning: some spoilers regarding the movies/series will surely follow, so consider yourselves adequately informed. (The images are taken from all over the web, so none of them are owned by yours truly.)

We’ll start with the gents:

Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

Born into a wealthy family, abused by his famous father, hated by many and loved by few. Logan is the very definition of damaged goods, and I absolutely adore him as a character. Witty, passionate, complicated, self-destructive, tough, yet vulnerable. His love for Veronica makes him approachable despite his less appealing characteristics, and by the end of the first season, his character was the one thing that got me coming back for more. I hate the way things ultimately ended as far as Logan was concerned, but his character will always be included in my list of fictional crushes.

William the Bloody aka Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

The spurned romantic turned into a soulless bloodsucker, who still somehow managed to hold on to his humanity. Sure, he was a vicious killer, but at the same time he sincerely loved Drusilla, and later Buffy. Spike epitomises a person who is ruled by his passions. “Love’s bitch”, as he calls himself. He is incredibly perceptive and intuitive, and entirely honest to himself about the things that drive him. While he fancies himself a bad boy, even evil, it is clear from the first time his character enters the series that neither of those qualities do him justice. Spike steals every scene he’s in, and I could never get enough of him.

John Crichton (Farscape)

The intrepid explorer, the brilliant scientist and the kick-ass (anti?)hero all rolled in one. While Crichton is a wonderful character all on his own, it’s his love for Aeryn and his best-buddies-friendship with D’Argo that truly make his character stand out as exceptional (and exceptionally hawt). To me, Crichton represents humanity’s best characteristics, and if we ever needed to send an embassador to meet aliens in space, he’d be the one we should pick. Brains, brawn and, perhaps most importantly, heart.

Malcolm “Mal” Reynolds (Firefly)

Fiercely loyal and stubborn to the point of stupidity, Mal holds on to his ideals and the people who form his family aboard the Serenity. Behind the tough-as-nails exterior, Mal would do anything, go to any lengths to protect his people from harm. And while he never really manages to confess his love for Inara, it’s clear he feels it. However, my favourite relationship in the series is the one between Mal and his second-in-command, Zoë. Utter trust and an understanding so deep, it requires no words.

Lenny Nero (Strange Days)

Lenny starts off as a pathetic loser who has sacrificed everything in order to hold on to his memories of a relationship that ended long ago. He has pawned his pride and is unable to recognise the people who use him from the people who truly care about him. It takes a real twist of fate to turn him around and find himself, but when he finally does, the transformation is pretty spectacular. Lenny is one of my all time favourite antiheroes, and I love him to pieces. Mostly it’s because despite his utter spinelessness at the beginning, he’s still a man of strong emotions. It’s really love that sank his boat, and I find the ability to love to be the ultimate turn-on.

James “Sawyer” Ford (Lost)

Lying, cheating, swindling rogue with (once again) heart. Sawyer is a damaged goods character, who cons because he’s been conned. There is nothing refined as to why he is so appealing to women, on the contrary, his appeal is rough, almost primal. However, at the same time he is clearly intelligent, which gives his character added depth. The accessibility to his character lies in his relationships with others, namely Kate, and, to a lesser extent, Hurley, Jin, Claire and Juliet.

Michael Samuelle (La Femme Nikita)

Cold as ice, yet containing such repressed emotion it’s a wonder he doesn’t burst. The relationship between Michael and Nikita is what kept the show going, and it flat out does it for me. Once again, Michael is seriously damaged goods. He starts out as practically an automaton, but slowly Nikita brings him out of his shell. Later, as we learn about the death of his wife, and his current family (especially his son), his character gains layers and becomes even more compelling. Gotta hate the mullet, but his soft French makes up for it quite nicely ;)

Han Solo (Star Wars)

The lovable rogue. Contrasted with Luke’s boyishness and naiveté, Han initially comes off as a self-serving Don Juan, but fortunately turns out to be more than that. Just as fortunately he still retains the roguish characteristics even when demonstrating courage, which keeps his character from remaining one-dimensional. Gotta love the cocky attitude paired with loyalty to his friends and loved ones.

Wolverine (X-Men)

There’s slight cheating in place here. I didn’t love any of the X-Men movies, but I’m an avid fan of the comics, and I love the comic character Wolverine. I also love Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine, but for (to some extent) different reasons. First of all, physical hawtness and sex appeal. Secondly, the love triangle between Wolverine, Jean Grey and Cyclops. Thirdly, because Wolvie will always do what no one else can, is tough-as-adamantium and despite all the ass-kickings he’s both given and received, he’s still a pretty darn smart guy. Sure, more heart than brains, but I’ve always been into passionate guys, and he definitely fits the description.

Morpheus (The Matrix)

Okay, I have a thing for Laurence Fishburne. I just do. Now, Laurence Fishburne + martial arts skills + cool outfits + a katana + philosophical sci-fi musings = hawtness. My only regret is that Morpheus played such a minor role in the sequels for the Matrix, but disregarding all that, HAWTNESS. Full stop.

Now it’s the ladies’ turn:

Zoë Washburne (Firefly)

A woman of unflinching loyalty and duty. At the same time, a woman of love and devotion to her husband and extended family aboard the Serenity. I’ve always been intrigued by the relationship between Zoë and Mal, which is so different compared to the relationship between her and Wash. Zoë and Mal are inseparable, but their personal relationship is built on their relationship as soldiers, and as Mal being Zoë’s commanding officer. At the same time Zoë and Wash are inseparable, but the ties between them are the ties between a man and a woman in love with each other. It is the most interesting “love triangle” I’ve ever stumbled upon, and it’s a damned shame I don’t get to delve deeper into it. Zoë is gorgeous, both in the military mode and out of it.

Faith (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

The dark slayer. Overt sexiness personified. The bad girl. She’ll kick your ass whether you’re on the street or in bed, and that’s what I love in a (fictional) person. Faith is damaged goods and often not very likeable, but damn, she’s hawt. However, what really made her character interesting was her relationship with the Mayor. She could never be loved for who she was in the Scooby gang, because Buffy already occupied the Slayer spot, but for the Mayor, she was unique. Always led by her emotions, Faith is in many ways the feminine counterpart for Spike/Logan/Sawyer/insert your favourite bad boy with heart here.

Lornette “Mace” Mason (Strange Days)

Characterised by her sense of loyalty and duty coupled with both physical and emotional strength, Mace is the polar opposite of Lenny. When she was weak and vulnerable, Lenny (before his eventual downfall) was there for her, and she always loved him for it. She is there for him long after he’s stopped deserving it, and eventually it’s she who instigates the change for the better in Lenny. One of my favourite Mace moments is when she drives the car off the pier and extends her arm to keep Lenny from getting hurt by the impact. It’s the quintessential reversal of traditional male-female roles, and it describes their characters perfectly. I could probably love Mace.

Kara “Starbuck” Thrace (Battlestar Galactica)

Reckless, capable, weak and strong at the same time. Starbuck resembles Faith quite strongly, but she has an added feeling of maturity I can’t really put my finger on. It’s not emotional maturity, that much is for sure, but maybe it’s the fact that she never actually crosses over to the “dark side”, while Faith does. Her complicated relationship with Apollo is interesting, but I think I’d find it more compelling if I actually liked Apollo better. As it is, Starbuck is for me the main reason to keep watching Galactica. I loved her best with short hair, but she’s hawt enough for me to put up with the longer hairdo as well…

Major Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex)

More machine than human, capable both physically and mentally, and in many ways androgynous despite her obviously feminine shape. Kusanagi is a mystery, both to her team members and to the viewer. Is humanity dependent on having a biological, human body? Kusanagi lost hers as a little girl, and her consciousness was transferred into a cybernetic body. She doesn’t feel the same way as a biological human does, doesn’t have the gender identity of a typical woman, the list goes on. The closest thing to a human relationship Kusanagi has is arguably between her and Batou, who is also almost entirely cybernetic. However, Batou is still clearly a man inside his head, and, for instance, keeps lifting weights even though there is no physical benefit to be had from the exercise. I find Kusanagi extremely compelling both physically and psychologically.

Aeryn Sun (Farscape)

Aeryn started out as a total soldier grunt, so brainwashed by her Peacekeeper background that there was almost no personality attached to her gorgeous form. After joining the crew of Moya, Aeryn began her journey towards becoming an actual person instead of being merely an extension to her weapons. She is strong and capable (as are all my female crushes, and most of the men as well, it seems), and increasingly human, even though strictly speaking she isn’t. Her love for Crichton gives her added depth, and their relationship has definitely become one of my all time favourites in any fiction.

Sarah Connor (Terminator 2 & Sarah Connor Chronicles)

Sarah has devoted her entire existence to her son and by extension, the future of mankind. Whatever comes her way, her number one priority never changes. Her fight against the machines has almost made a machine out of herself. It doesn’t mean she is incapable of feeling, quite the contrary, but she is still stalwart in her purpose. Take away John Connor, and there isn’t much left of Sarah. However, she is still very much a woman and a mother. She loves so selflessly and unconditionally, it is impossible not to admire that. Plus, she’s hawt, in all her incarnations.

Lisbeth Salander (Män som hatar kvinnor)

Okay, Lisbeth is probably the most damaged person on my list. Her past is so dark, it’s pretty much impossible to consider her entirely sane anymore, and yet she is one of the most compelling and attractive characters I’ve ever come across. Having been victimised a lot in her life, she still refuses to be a victim, which shows remarkable psychological and emotional strength. She is both the hero and the villain, and still remains utterly believable. She takes my breath away.

So, that’s it, at least for now. Shall I throw the ball to your corner next?

English, MindswirlApril 1, 2009 10:31 pm

There is this person in my life.

For four and a half years, he’s been with me. It wasn’t easy, at first, since I was carrying quite a bit of baggage from previous relationships, but he was very patient with me. I’ve never met a better listener, or a less judgmental one.

He travelled to the other side of the world to be with me, and when we came back, he moved in with me for good. We’re both loners by nature, but somehow we never seem to be bothered by each other’s presence. He’s seen me at my absolute worst and weakest, as well as my best and strongest, and takes the swiftness of my mood changes pretty much in stride. There is no one in this world I trust more.

The only dream I have is of us growing old together. The biggest fear I have is me surviving him.

And so, when he came home from work today, carrying half a dozen dark red, velvety roses and two pieces of cake, and later asked me to marry him, I said yes.

English, MindswirlMarch 20, 2009 10:58 am

Suck it up son o’ mine
Thunder blowin’ up your horizon

Changes come
Keep your dignity
Take the high road
Take it like a man
(Puscifer - Momma Sed)

Without giving anything away for fear the winds will change and blow it all away, I think I’ve found what to do with myself. I will give it a little time and a little effort, see if this thing takes root, and if it’s worth it to go chase the tornado. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt about myself, it’s not to make rash decisions. Suffice to say, I haven’t felt this good about anything in years. I think the last time was when I was accepted to study at the university, and this path I’m looking at now would be if not entirely a logical, at least an emotional continuance to that one important turn in my life.

All my life I’ve struggled with the idealistic notion of incorporating passion into what would become my life’s work. I’ve wanted to love what I do, not just earn money and live my life when not at work. I’ve wanted to care about whatever it is I end up doing, but I’ve never managed to come up with something I’m that passionate about, and what still might earn me a living. Well, it may be there is little or no money to be had if I take this path I’m contemplating, but there is passion and love. Now it comes down to courage, determination, and luck.

And I’ve always considered myself lucky.

Suomeksi, As isMarch 19, 2009 11:13 am

Pakko julkistaa näin hyvät uutiset: kirjahyllyprojekti (mainittu ensimmäisen kerran 16.7.2008…) on saatettu onnistuneesti loppuun! Angstailtuani aikani ja käytyäni tragikoomisen kehityskeskustelun rakkaimpani kanssa tässä pari päivää sitten tuuli muutti viimein suuntaa, ja sain jopa jotain rakentavaa aikaiseksi. Kirjahylly näyttää hemmetin hyvältä, on pölytön ja sekä sarjakuville että kaunokirjallisuudelle on lisätilaa taas joksikin aikaa. Hyvä homma, etenkin kun seuraava Amazon-tilaus on jo jonkin aikaa poltellut kukkaroa.

Ylipäänsä edellisen tekstin kirjoittamisen jälkeen on ollut kokonaisuudessaan parempi ja kevyempi fiilis kuin aikoihin, mikä on vähintäänkin lohdullista. Toki kunnes tuuli taas kääntyy, mutta sitä odotellessa tästä on parempi nauttia. Siksipä onkin erityisen mukavaa mennä tänään ystävän kanssa intialaiseen syömään ja parantamaan maailmaa. Ja ulkona paistaa aurinko niin kuin parhaimpanakin kevätpäivänä!

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